Feeling a bit indulgent today, I decided to go to Panda for lunch. MMM. Love the Orange Chicken and the Beijing Beef. Anyways. I thought I would share my very insightful fortune with y'all.
"The world will soon be ready to recieve your talents."
I know, I laughed too.
My first response was. Oh, oh my book. (As other things seem to be guiding me in that direction too.) But the more I thought about it I decided to list just some of the possible "talents" this particular fortune might be referring to:
*** My stinging and insightfully bitter sarcasm. Touche!
*** My shocking flexibility allowing me to insert my foot in my mouth despite my portliness.
*** My amazing ability to change the lyrics to songs to fit the current circumstances of my life.
I make Wierd Al look like a novice. Specially the time my version of an Enya song came out, "Who can say why your lover, humps another, only time...." A classic.
*** My trite, but never tiring verses written with magnet poetry.
*** My ability to replay stupid things I said over and over again in my head and come up with
better, wittier things I should have said instead.
*** My ability to produce the absolutely incorrect emotional response to life situations. (ie: laughing when I should be somber, crying when laughing, and snorting when trying not to appear animal like....)
*** My ability to recall movie lines from films I saw years ago, yet my inability to recall where I set down my keys moments earlier.
And my personal favorite:
*** My ability to spill food at the exact spot on my chest every time I wear a brand new white shirt.
So. Watch out world, get ready, cause my talents are coming soon to an awkward situation near you.
4 years ago