Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Common Sense

I just finished Glenn Beck's Common Sense. I love, love, love Glenn. (We are on a first name basis.) I know many of you tire of my rambling on and on about politics and government, but HELLO GUYS!!! WE ARE LOOSING OUR COUNTRY!!! WE ARE LETTING PEOPLE TAKE AWAY OUR GOD GIVEN FREEDOMS because we are too busy, or we dont know where to start, or we dont like the dirtiness of politics. At this day and age, political discussion should not be considered taboo or coarse. We need to be speaking up and LOUDLY!!! We need to be teaching each other and our kids WHY this is so important. WHY they should work hard. WHY they are not ENTITLED. WHY a government with the power to give you all you want has the power to take everything from you.....
Go get yourself a copy, or if you dont want to buy it, Ill lend you mine, or buy you one. (The same offer still applies to the 5000 year leap.) Cause HELLO...
"One day we will face our children and grandchildren as they ask us what we found more important and valuable than freedom. They will ask if our big, unaffordable homes, "free" universal health care, and "buy it now" lifestyle were worth enslaving them for.
Just as we look back with pride and awe at what the generations before us did to preserve the cause of freedom, our children and grandchildren will look back at us. But should we now fail, it won't be with pride or awe, it will be with disgust. As they toil under oppressive taxes and tyrannical rule, they will continually question what we were so busy doing that we did not notice the stripping away of our freedoms and liberties. As they are forced to carry the yoke of servitude imposed by their domestic and foreign masters they will question why we did nothing. Did you not see it coming? They will wonder."
---Glenn Beck

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Obama Bumpers

Tom posted one of these yesterday and I thought it was great. He sent me the link to where I could order it. When I went looking for it, I found a plethora of others that were just as wonderful. I thought I would share. And not to turn this into a commercial, but these are all available on http://www.zazzle.com/. ENJOY

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Be forewarned that not everyone wants to read this entry. Im sure by now you know who you are. And while I was going to wait to write this til I was officially private. Im festering and seething right now. And I will not sleep if I dont purge myself from this.

That being said, the father will be mentioned and those who dont want to read this, will say I am being unfair, bitchy, or some other similar sentiment. Get over it! Ya wanna make him the victim, go ahead. I am done trying to be all nice and sweet without any kind of support or help from the donor or his family.

I read a lovely blog post today, regarding Reed's grandfather, who I happen to think very highly of. In response to this post, I made a comment. I dont have the exact message, but the basically it said, "That was so sweet, I too am very thankful for your dad, as he is a perfect example for Reed of what a good man should be." Unbeknownst to me, this spread like wildfire and I became a poriah because they all thought I was making commentary on Reed's father's parenting skills. Funny, the only way one would jump to that conclusion is if you knew his parenting skills were lacking and in some cases down right unacceptable. BUT-- I never mentioned the father, he never came to mind, I was just expressing my thanks to Reed's grandfather. Well, needless to say, I became quite the talk and received several less than happy messages from those who read my comment. I tried to explain, that I was not making commentary on the father. Just expressing gratitude. This explanation went unnoticed by most. So, since I am considered the villian. I figured I might as well play the part. That way, all those victims of my cruel comment can truely be the victims they want to be so badly.

--- I am the villian because I wouldn't interrupt my father's day plans to drive Reed over to see his dad. I ask, where is your father? Can he not bring you? What about the bus? After much running around trying to make sure that the father had his parenting time, I decided that it was not my responsibility. As clearly stated in the parenting plan, each parent will pick up the child when their parenting time starts. This was clearly explained long before father's day. Logical sure. I thought so.

--- I am the villian because I didn't wish the father a happy birthday. As we are no longer in a relationship, it slipped my mind. This was a much bigger deal than the times my birthday was forgotten when we were in a relationship.

--- I am a villian because for once in my life I am learning to stand up for myself. I decided I only needed to talk to the father when it pertained to Reed and visitation.

--- I am a villian because I get child support and now the father has to have a second job. Nevermind that I dont get his half of the day care or his half of the medical copays and deductables. I dont get money for the babysitters that I have to hire when he frequently chooses not to show up for his parenting time, and I need to get stuff done.

--- I am a villian because the grandma who lives far away doesn't ever get to see her grandchild. Im sorry, after paying for the day care and medical expenses that are you sons responsibility, I just dont have extra money for plane tickets....

Ya know, the list could go on and on. But somehow, I have just come to the conclusion, that I will always be the villian. Nevermind all the past crap, nevermind all the current crap. Im the villian.... And I suppose, if I must be, I better just learn to live it up.

Going private...

As much as I dont want to do this, its time. Going private is, I think, a pain in the butt for everyone. But in my high drama world, it was inevitable. Email me if you want to continue to follow. Or if I have your email, I will be sending out invitations...or whatever they are called.

Until then, peace out.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Dads lessons within the lesson

I didnt get a chance to write this blog earlier. But its only been a day so I dont feel too bad. I figured I would take a chance to give mad props to and to laugh a bit at my dad. So in a sorry attempt to celebrate what makes my dad, my dad, I will share with you just a few of the lessons I have learned from my dad... for some reason they were all outdoors!

1. The $5 lawn: Dad never let us being girls get in the way of us doing our part in the work outside. I cant count the number of times that he told us the story of a $5 lawn job. I guess back in the day, that meant you went above and beyond the basic mow. $5 isn't much these days, but in all the time spent mowing lawn, I dont think I have ever come close to achieving a $5 lawn. But the lesson was taught.... Take pride in your work. Work hard so that when you are finished you can stand back and be proud of the job you did. Do you work with the goal to achieve a $5 lawn.

2. Another 2 hours?: Growing up, we hated Saturday. Most kids loved Saturday, but not us. Saturday meant WEEDS. We hated that we had to spend most every Saturday morning pulling weeds and made sure he knew how much we hated it. His response? Another 2 hours... Our hours piled up so much faster than the weeds. And we complained all the more. We were slow to learn that it was much easier to just get the 2 hours done without complaining. But eventually, we got it. So now when faced with a job I really dont want to get done, whether at work or at home, I realize its just easier to get the job done and not spend so much time dreading it.

3. Wake up call: Being silly little girls, and having a night owl mother, we loved staying up late with mom during the summer. Poor dad hated this. He sometimes started work as early as 3 in the morning. The worst was when he happened to find us still awake when he getting up to go to work. When we were especially silly and loud, he would come in the the living room and growl at us. When this didn't work, we were taken outside. This was most effective in the winter (think Christmas vacation) He would let us know that if we couldn't be respectful of the one who worked to provide the roof over our head, we would temporarily lose it (the roof) until we understood and learned to shut up. I remember standing outside with Margie, shaking, barefoot while he explained why we needed to be quiet. We can laugh about this now.

4. Black River Tutorials: I alway love going to Black River with dad. It was one of the few times dad was super extravagant. Eating out on the way there and back. Treats when we stopped to get our fishing licenses. One on one time. Its funny how all those fishing trips were more than just fishing. Every story told (many times over), every encounter with nature, every meal prepared was a lesson. How to "set the hook", how to tie a certain knot, what to do when you come across a skunk, snake or even a bear or bear cub. I can even light a fire in pouring rain and keep it going. I can gut and fillet a fish (if I must) and I can cook it on my fire. More than that, the lessons became an overarching lesson of being self sufficient and being able to survive extreme conditions.

5. Plant a Garden: Dad always has a garden going. He always made us a part of the word somehow. Whether we helped plant or water or harvest, we were able to participate. Gardening was one of his big multi-lesson lessons. We learned to work, we got to see the rewards of hard work, we saw dad's example for following the words of the prophet, we grew up with a love for vegetables... most kids cant say they love turnips, spinach, tomatoes, broccoli.... neither can most adults.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Quote for the day

"The health of a nation is inversely proportionate to the number of laws needed to govern it."
-- Thomas Frey

Umm, if thats the case, I think we are in deep shit.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Arizona Activist!!

So yesterday Glenn Beck read a letter on his show from a woman in Arizona. It was directed to all of our nations leaders. I thought it was fabulous and worth a reprint. Please take the time to read this.

I'm a home grown American citizen, 53, registered Democrat all my life. Before the last presidential election I registered as a Republican because I no longer felt the Democratic party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. Now I no longer feel the Republican Party represents my views or works to purse issues important to me. The fact is I no longer feel any political party or representative in Washington represents my views or works to pursue the issues important to me. There must be someone. Please stand up and tell me that you are there and that you're willing to fight for our Constitution is it was written. Please stand up now. You might ask yourself what my views and issues are that I would horribly feel so disenfranchised by both major political parties. What kind of nut job am I? Will you please tell me?

Well, these are briefly my views and issues for which I seek representation:

One: Illegal Immigration. I want you to stop coddling illegal immigrants and secure our borders. Close the underground tunnels. Stop the violence and the trafficking of drugs and people. No amnesty, not again. Been there, done that, no resolution. PS, Im not a racist. This isn't to be confused with legal immigration.

Two: The Tarp Bill. I want it repealed and I want no futher funding supplied to it. We told you no, but you did it anyway. I want the remaining unfunded 95% repealed. Freeze, repeal.

Three: Czars. I want the cirumvention of our checks and balances stopped immediately. Fire the czars. No more czars. Government officials answer to the process, no to the president. Stop trampling on our Constitution and honor it.

Four: Cap and Trade. The debate on global warming is not over. There is more to say.

Five: Universal Healthcare. I will not be rushed into another expensive decision. Don't you dare try to pass this in the middle of the night and then go on break. Slow down!

Six: Growing Government control. I want states rights and sovereignty fully restored. I want less government in my life, not more. Shrink it down. Mind your own business. You have enough to take care of with your real obligations. Why don't you start there.

Seven: ACORN. I do not want ACORN and its affiliates in charge of our 2010 Census. I want them investigated. I also do not want mandatory escrow fees contributed to them every time on every real estate deal that closes. Stop funding to ACORN and its affiliates pending impartial audits and investigations. I do no trust them with taking the census over. I do not trust them with our taxpayer money. Face up to the allegations against them and get it resolved before taxpayers get any more involved with them. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, hello. Stop protecting your political buddies. You work for us, the people. Investigate.

Eight: Redistribution of Wealth. No, no, no. I work for my money. It is mine. I have always worked for people with more money than I have because they gave me jobs. That is the only redistribution of wealth that I will support. I never got a job from a poor person. Why do you want me to hate my employers? Why -- what do you have against shareholders making a profit?

Nine: Charitable Contributions Although I never got a job from a poor person, I have helped many in need. Charity belongs in our local communities, where we know our needs best and can use our local talent and our local resources. Butt out, please. We want to do it ourselves.

Ten: Corporate Bailouts Knock it off. Sink or swim like the rest of us. If there are hard times ahead, we'll be better off just getting into it and letting the strong survive. Quick and painful. Have you ever ripped off a Band-Aid? We will pull together. Great things happen in America under great hardship. Give us a chance to innovate. We cannot disappoint you more than you have disappointed us.

Eleven: Transparency and Accountability How about it? No, really, how about it? Let's have it. Let's say we give the buzzwords a rest and have some straight honest talk. Please try -- please stop manipulating and trying to appease me with clever wording. I am not the idiot you obviously take me for. Stop sneaking around and meeting in back rooms making deals with your friends. It will only be a prelude to your criminal investigation. Stop hiding things from me.

Twelve: Unprecedented, quick spending STOP IT NOW!

Take a breath. Listen to the people. Let's just slow down and get some input from some nonpoliticians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and the land of the brave.

I entrusted you with upholding the Constitution. I believed in the checks and balances to keep you from getting far off course. What happened? You are very far off course. Do you really think I find humor in the hiring of a speed reader to unintelligently ramble all through a bill that you signed into law without knowing what it contained? I do not. It is a mockery of the responsibility I have entrusted to you. It is a slap in the face. I am not laughing at your arrogance. Why is it that I feel as if you would not trust me to make a single decision about my own life and how I would live it but you should expect that I should trust you with the debt that you have laid on all of us and our children. We did not want the TARP bill. We said NO. We would repeal it if we could. I am sure that we still cannot. There is such an urgency and recklessness in all of the recent spending.

From my perspective, it seems that all of you have gone insane. I also know that I am far from alone in these feelings. Do you honestly feel that your current pursuits have merit to patriotic Americans? We want it to stop. We want to put the brakes on everything that is being rushed by us and forced upon us. We want our voice back. You have forced us to put our lives on hold to straighten out the mess that you are making. We will have to give up our vacations, our time spent with our children, any relaxation time we may have had and money we cannot afford to spend on you to bring our concerns to Washington. Our president often knows all the right buzzword is unsustainable. Well, no kidding. How many tens of thousands of dollards did the focus group cost to come up with that word? We don't want your overpriced words. Stop treating us like we're morons.

We want all of you to stop focusing on your reelection and do the job we want done, not the job you want done or the job your party wants done. You work for us and at this rate I guarantee you not for long because we are coming. We will be heard and we will be represented. You think we're so busy with our lives athat we will never come for you? We are the fomerly silent majority, all of us who quietly work, pay taxes, obey the law, vote, save money, keep our noses to the grindstone and we are now looking up at you. You have pushed us too far. Our numbers are great. That may surprise you. For every one of us who will be there, there will be hundreds more that could not come. Unlike you, we have their trust. We will represent them honestly, rest assured. They will be at the polls on voting day to usher you out of office. W have cancelled our vacations. We will use our last few dollars saved. We will find the representation among us and a grassroots campaign will flourish. We didn't ask for this fight. But the gloves are coming off. We do not come in violence, but we are angry. You will represent us or you will be replaced by someone who will. There are candidates among us and they will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes that you have made of our constitution.

Democrat, Republican, independent, libertarian. Understand this. We don't care. Political parties are meaningless to us. Patriotic Americans are willing to do right by us and our Constitution and that is all that matter to us now. We are going to fire all of you who abuse power and seek more. It is not your power. It is ours and we want it back. We entrusted you with it and you abused it. You are dishonorable. You are dishonest. As Americans we are ashamed of you. You have brought shame to us. If you are not representing the wants and needs of your constituency loudly and consistently, in spite of the objections of your party, you will be fired. Did you hear? We no longer care about your political parties. You need to be loyal to us, not to them. Because we will get you fired and they will not save you. If you do or can represent me, my issues, my views, please stand up. Make your identity known. You need to make some noise about it. Speak up. I need to know who you are. If you do not speak up, you will be herded out with the rest of the sheep and we will replace the whole damn congress if need be, one by one. We are coming. Are we coming for your? Who do you represent? What do you represent? Listen. Because we are coming. We the people are coming.

If you finished reading this through, I hope you got chills like I did. The author, Janet Contreras, of Arizona, said everything that I and many others have been feeling for a long time. I loved that she reminded all of us... with our busy lives that our time is worth giving to this cause of cleaning house. I hope this letter helped someone else feel the need to get involved. I know it did for me.

PS I apologize for any type-os. Im tired and instead of cutting and pasting like any sane person would, I instead typed it out....

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Writers block

Postings are a bit sparce this month. Im experiencing writers block or something. No big ah-ha moments, no big laughs to relate. I cant even come up with any witty one liners for facebook. I was gonna post some cutie pics of Reed. But I cant even get that to work for me right now.

Ive been working on Reed's and my 72 hour kits and was going to give a rundown of putting it together... but its a bit of a work in progress and so the post will have to wait.

I had some other great ideas for posts... but have since forgot them. The ideas usually come late at night so I dont do anything about em. Maybe I wasn't really having great ideas, maybe I was just dreaming about having great ideas.... I have had vivid dreams lately.

Oh well, Im hoping it is just a phase.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Music Appreciation Day

Im a Parrothead. Granted, Jimmy entered my life as I began my descent into the fog. And unfortunately there are some not so proud moments that he provided the sountrack for. But Jimmy still holds a sweet place in my heart. Maybe cause he was singing about what I was so desperately looking for. Calm. Peace. Silly diversions. An escape from the real world. I think thats why there are so many die hard Parrotheads. Jimmy provides a mini vaca, a beach in your brain(without crowds or Cali smog)....a deep breath and perspective.

Since it is my Friday, I am feeling a big pull to shake of the remains of the work week and find this feeling. (Ive been searching all week....and failing miserably.) And while this sensation may be found much quicker with one of the margarita's made famous by another Jimmy song..... This will be sufficient. If you turn up the volume on your computer you will find my playlist. Topping the chart (as soon as I get home today, since I cant get on that website at work) is my favorite Jimmy Buffett song, ever. And that's saying something... cause Jimmy's Asshole Song, is killer funny.

All I gotta do is turn this song on and it transports me to another world. Overall its playful and upbeat, but the chorus brings you to a dreamy almost reminiscence of that One Particular Harbor -- though you have never been there...you have.

But there's one particular harbor
Sheltered from the wind
Where the children play on the shore each day
And all are safe within.

Most mysterious calling harbor
Sor far yet so near
I can see the day when my hair's full gray
And I finally disappear.

This is probably the most vivid of daydreams for me. Everytime I hear this song, I am instantly there. I swear my blood pressure drops, my neck and back muscles start to release their deathgrip flexion, and my breathing slows and deepens. So when things get crazy, come join me in my One Particular Harbor. AND ENJOY!

Sunday, June 7, 2009


Im having one of those "stuck" times. You know, those moments where you dont feel like you are active in your own life. You just float through the routine cause its easier than fixing stuff. I suppose thats not totally true. I had some major breakthrough moments these past few weeks and so I am here looking at the weight of what it all means and wondering, "What comes next?" I suppose you could say some long straggling loose ends were tied up...stuff that's been keeping me in the "stuck" times and now I dont quite know what to do with myself.

The other day I was talking with an old friend who has been through a lot since we were stupid kids in high school. (The most of it coming at her in the last couple years. ) And her reaction was, "I dont even know who I am anymore." She had lost a routine, a loved one and a way of life recently and replaced it all with new and different. At first, I thought it was strange. My reaction was to tell her not to try to put a label on stuff and realize we are all a work in progress, continually evolving. Funny how not 2 weeks later, I feel the same way. Not in a Who am I, where did I come from, where am I going sense. But in a "Who am I? Without all the labels and the daily activities that keep us so busy.... that don't really define who we are, even though we try to use them to describe us."

I dunno the more I think about it, the more I realize its kind of a stupid question to ask in the first place.... Too abstract to truly answer and too many variables to consider that effect the answer. Now my head hurts.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Wonder Woman!!

I am having a wonder woman kind of day. Maybe even last couple days...

--I think I am getting a cold, my voice is froggy, Im stuffy and I kinda have a headache.
--Work is slow and so the day is dragging...again.
--I got a big o mess of an apartment and laundry that needs attention.
--The father of Reed, who wishes to be nameless now, has pushed me to the point of pure rage. (He will now be known as Him who we do not speak of... or the donor...or I dunno any other suggestions?)
--I am lonely and need a date, just a reaffirmation that Im not a complete social retard.
--I am having a bad hair day, which is difficult as it is super short and I wear it messy and spikey on purpose. But the left side of my hair grows faster than the right and it makes me nutty nuts.
--The button on my pants fell off so I have been using a safety pin to keep it fastened, but because there is no button, the zipper wants to unzip... and if I bend down the safety pin pops open, becoming unsafe, and poking my belly.

But with all that crap, worries and responsibilities that swirl around like a whirlpool ready to pull me under.... Im feeling DAMN powerful today.

I put on a new shirt and noticed that while the cut tends to make it look like a maternity shirt, it does accentuate the not as fat as everywhere else part of my body that I rely on. It is the first time in a very long time I have not been crazy self conscious about the way I look. Add to that my pants feel big. And I start to wonder, Is it possible? Could I be shedding some of this weight?

I haven't been good about what I am eating, I haven't been taking my meds like I should, I pooped out of my exercising every day goal after about a week. But this little glimmer makes me wonder what could happen if I actually tried. YEAH!!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Lovin the little things

Reed was especially cute this morning. I usually leave him sleeping in the morning while I get ready for work. When I walked into the room to wake him up, he was already awake, staring off into space. When he saw me he smiled. I started singing to him, as I usually do and he laughed. And laughed. It made my day.

Work today has been ordinary. While Im happy for no big crisis, it makes the day drag. I was happy for my lunch break. I had to stop at the store to return some t-shirts that were too BIG. YEAH. There is hope!!!

I went to El Pollo Loco for lunch and got me a BRC. I used to get these all the time when I worked in Tempe. In Tempe, a BRC stands for Beans, Rice and Cheese. This is what I was expecting. (Its on their dollar menu. Its cheap and good. Cant beat that) Apparently at the Pollo Loco on Power and the freeway today, BRC stands for Beans, Rice and Chicken. Jackpot!!! So I got a burro with yummy chicken in it, that would have cost me a few dollars in Tempe, for just 1.29.

Yes... It is the little things in life that help us dance on through the crap.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Domestic Goddess

My mom has been out of town playing with her bestest friend since forever and so I have been playing mommy to the fam. I have loved pretending to be a domestic goddess, trying out new recipes and cooking more than I have in I dont know how long. My favorite website is Recipezaar.com cause you type in ingredients and it will pull up recipes. So I have been able to use freezer stuff and pantry stuff to make all kinds of fun things.

It sucked to come back to work today. I could have stayed home and continued "playing" forever. Once again, I am faced with the reality that I was born in the wrong era. Damn all you women's libbers that made it almost impossible to be a stay at home mom. (Nevermind that my own choices didn't help my chances for that anyway...) Cause I like cooking and keeping house (even if Reed makes keeping it clean almost impossible.) I like baking cookies and perfecting my less than perfect culinary skills. I like my bra.... or at least what it does for me. Damn women's libbers.... Although I do appreciate some of what they accomplished, a lot of it did nothing for us and its sad to see their work go down the tubes as girls have cycled back to only being valued for their waif-like, unfeminine bodies and silicone breasts. But thats another blog for another day.