Sunday, August 30, 2009

Catching up.

The one downfall of blogging at work (shh... dont tell) is that I dont have access to my pictures. So this post is way past due. Instead of doing each separately, I figured a pic tells a thousand words. So here is what my sweet little man has been up to lately.

Birthday celebrations with Daddy at Chuckie Cheese's. Who knew there were celebrities there!

Aunt Nan loves Reed so much she was willing to make his the bestest cake ever.

This was Reed's reaction. He loved it.

"Smile Reed", and this is what I get. Oh well.

And Reed got Thomas all to himself. S-P-O-I-L-E-D!!

Martin Family Campout 2009. This was my favorite shot. Check out those legs!

Reed and his favorite, Uncle Brian. Reed loved going out hiking and Brian was the best to keep taking him exploring. (I actually got a nap!)

Camping. HOW ADORABLE! What do people with ugly kids take pictures of?

Best Buddies.

Helping Papa with the yard work.

Tom is Reed's new pal for setting mom up with this sweet computer. Reed is super excited for the aquarium screen saver and all the movies that got put on it just for him.

Reed's new favorite passtime is to wash dishes. This is just fine, except he usually throws all the clean drying dishes into the soaking dishes. Making extra work for mom. But I am hoping to exploit this new talent later on.

Reed still doesn't say much these days. But he sure knows how to communicate. I believe this is his way of saying, "Damn it mom, put away the stupid camer and leave me alone!"

Monday, August 24, 2009

New Perspective

This past Saturday, I attended a funeral for David King. He was an aquaintence at most. But the little contact I had with him led me to believe I knew him very well. His death shook me. It was overwhelming to think, "he is my age. He is my age and he was taken home."

The funeral was a simple, but beautiful service. His parents and close friends spoke of his life. It was a life spent with no regrets, no wasted moments, no fear --except the fear of not making the most of his time.

David was not supposed to live. The night he was born, his parents were told to prepare for the worst, that he would not make it through the night. With the skill of a surgeons hands, the technology of a pioneering surgery and the grace of God, he lived long beyond his expected time. Maybe that is why he lived the way he did. He was ravenous for information and had a knack for recalling facts he learned. He was implusive and fun. (Which explains how he became introduced to me, when he ran off to Vegas to marry my dear friend Sara.) In this short, sweet service, I was reminded of a very important lesson. And that is simply, to live.

I think we get so busy with the routine, that we forget that all of our days are numbered. We forget that we need to make the most of our time. David had this special insight, knowing he was living on "borrowed time." It gave him a perspective I yearn for. It gave him a fearlessness, a love of the days he had and the desire to make the most of every second. I want this. In the short 4 months that I knew of David and the short 2 months that I spoke with him, I never met him, but I knew he was something special. I am glad for the few encounters and all that I learned from his life. My prayer is that I walk away from this short aquaintence with a renewed joy for life, with the desire to make the most of my time, with the courage to live without fear, to speak my beliefs loudly, to find all the treasures that life can give and to LIVE like David lived.

Thank you David. For the glimpse into a life well lived, for the reminder that I can live and make my life an inspiration to others. You will be missed! And I expect you to be waiting at my finish line, cheering me on. I expect a hug and a job well done because I will LIVE my life from this day forward.

David Michael King
November 29, 1977 to August 14, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Too many tears to shed.

Its been a stressful past week or so.
I am waiting to hear from Reed's father about seeing Reed prior to his return to, (I cant think of a funny way of putting it, so Ill just throw it out there), prison. I keep waiting and waiting, but I hear nothing. Which usually isn't a good sign. Part of me will be relieved when its all said and done and I dont have to feel like I have to anticipate the unexpected from his father. But a much bigger part of me is just sad for how everything has turned out. I wanted him to rise to the challenge of parenthood. It breaks my heart that he hasn't been able to yet.
I have hit a major crossroads in life and cant see what to do next. I am frozen at a precipice wondering, "do I take the leap of faith?" or do I turn around and find a different path. I know things cant remain the way they are.
I have watch loved ones suffer more than anyone should. I want so much to take away their pains, but realize I have no immediate solution, no balm to ease their ache.
My heart seems to ache constantly as of late too. Not the ache of a failed romance or the ache of damages done by another, but a sore constant ache for something I cannot define. I am weary.
Everything makes me cry. Veggie tales made me cry. I cried while cleaning the kitchen. I cried when the birthday cake I made for my sister didn't harden soon enough. I cried for a new friend that I will not continue to get to know because he has since been called home. I cried for my dear Sara who is a widow for the second time this year. I cried because I feel so guilty for crying over my problems that are trivial in comparison. I cried with frustration that I feel so stuck and agitated with current circumstances. I cried because Im afraid to change said circumstances because I might make another mistake. I cried because I couldnt even get a small car loan because of my credit. How humiliating, how sad to be too risky. I cant blame them, but I cried anyway.
While the tears are shed and dried and my game face is back on, there are more waiting in the wing. I can feel them building.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

WALL-E --- Well Worth another Watch

For all of you who were a little put off by WALL-E and the blatant global warming/Al Gore/ anti consumerism/anti capitalism propaganda, here's a reason to give it another chance.
WALL-E and I have become fast friends as that is Reed's new favorite movie. I am glad for the break from Thomas the Tank Engine and his other (very obnoxious) train movies. The songs from them are still stuck in my head.... So I appreciate the songs from Helly Dolly replacing them. But I digress.
After watching WALL-E for the billionth time, maybe I have been indoctrinated enough to find merit in its message. Here is my attempt to sway you.
Lately the subjects of survival, self reliance, preparedness and such have been nagging at me. I recently prepared my (and Reed's) 72 hour kit. (And one of these days I'll get to that post.) Before you ask, "What in the world does WALL-E have to do with this?" let me explain.
For a long time, we as a society have been acting very similar to those people on the Axiom. Everything was handed to them. Everything was automated. They need not lift a finger or get up from their shuttle seats. They had no concept of the world surrounding them because they were too busy looking at the computer screen continuously in front of them. Because they didn't need to do anything for themselves, they became unable to do anything for themselves.
While the Axiom is a gross exaggeration of what can happen, we can see this slow decline in ourselves if we take a moment to look.
--- How many of us rely on the drive thru to provide dinner?
--- How many of us rely on the Safeway bakery to provide bread?
--- How many of us rely on the ATM machine to pop out cash 24 hours a day?
--- How many of us rely on the Credit Card to make up for a negative bank account?
--- How many of us rely on the Mobil station to have gas at a moments notice?
--- How many of us rely on the 24 hour Walmart to have any basics we need all the time?
--- How many of us rely on our car for short trips to close by destinations?
Ok, ok, you get it... And yes, I am as guilty as the next person. And its ok that you answered yes
to all of the questions. BUT and this is a big BUT... DO YOU HAVE A BACK UP PLAN?
More importantly, do you have the skill set required to survive should all of the above disappear?
I'm not getting all doomsday on you, but this something that prophets, government leaders, and others have warned us about.
One of the most emphasized problems with this (our) society in WALL-E is the effect our "have it now, have it easy, no work involved" society has on us physically. All the people on the Axiom are severly overweight and unable to perform simple actions for themselves (including walking.)
Now we all know that I am not the poster child for successful weight loss and maintaining a healthy weight. This is another one of those things that have been nagging at me lately. More for Reed than any other reason. But if you need a little motivation or a new perspective to give you a push in the "healthier lifestyle" direction, read what a fellow blogger had to say.
Maintaining a higher level of Physical Fitness will increase your ability to survive the worst possible conditions. Unfortunately, many Americans are overweight and almost never engage in physical activity. When the balloon goes up and SHTF (shit hits the fan), your body may be the biggest asset you have during the crunch. Vehicles brake down and run out of gas but a well tuned fighting machine that is properly hydrated, nourished, and trained to endure the extremes will never fail you.... (
When things get tough (and I do mean when, not if) we will all be better off if we are starting from a good place physically, temporally, spiritually, mentally. This is the time to prepare. This is the time to start placing emergency plans. This is the time to begin increasing your skill set. This is the time to start paying attention to what is going on locally and federally. Soon, tomorrow will be too late. Now I'm not saying that you need to live on a farm and grow all you eat and never participate in the perks of urban living. Im just reminding you (and me) to keep it in proper perspective and not live completely reliant on it.