Thursday, August 28, 2008


So Im driving home from work yesterday and the Five for Fighting "Superman" song came on. This song first came out while I was in Montana. I remember driving home at the end of a hard day, and listening to Delilah. I know, I know, missionaries arent allowed to listen to the radio. But it was Delilah and we tried to justify it as being uplifting. But I digress....
Anyway, I remember when I first heard the Superman song. I just cried and cried. I could so relate. Trying to be perfect and just struggling. At the time, I thought it was a new Dave Matthews Band song, as they have a very similar sound. And being a huge Dave fan, it made it that much more memorable.
Sorry I keep getting sidetracked. Anyway the song came on yesterday on my way from work. Now my life is so far from that point 7 years ago. (has it really been that But the song still hits me much the same as it did now. So for all of you who are like, I dont get what is so special about that song, I will elaborate. If you have never heard it, go download it.

I think its all about persona. We all walk around with this false self. Or this self that we want people to think we are. We all do it. Im just as guilty as the next guy. Anyway, once we have built this persona or this "public image" we spend the rest of our days trying to keep up with the expectation the precedence has set. And its damn tiring. So the song is saying I may be Superman, but damn it, give me some room for error and imperfection. I spend a lot of my days lately with my flaws staring me down almost to defeat. So I think a lot of the persona I crafted so early on in my 20s has since crumpled... But damned if I dont keep trying to rebuild. Why am I trying to rebuilt that?

I remember back in my college days, I was fascinated with Psychology. I loved my Psyc classes. I need to go back. But anyway, I remember in my Personality Development class we talked about our True Self, our Ideal Self and our perspective of our Self. There was this diagram of Circles representing each. And the more they overlapped, the healthier (mentally) the person was. I suppose you could throw a circle in there for our "persona self" but the more I think about it our Ideal self is usually the persona we put on anyway.

Anyway, there will always be some discrepancy between the Selves. That is life. And while it is healthy to have the differences as small as possible, it is also good to recognize that there are discrepancies and that and really that is good. Confused? Sorry. The discrepancies are healthy as long as you use them as a catalist for change. See the differences cause stress which if used properly becomes a push to improve and become more like the ideal self.

This blog turned into so much more than I was planning. Anyway I guess my point was:

Life is tough. Be nice to others when they dont live up to the persona. Be nice to yourself when you dont live up to your persona. And just keep chuggin along and slowly your circles will get closer and closer.

1 comment:

greg and laurie said...

Em, once again, your wisdom is showing. Just a thought - if the circle representing our True Self really was our True Self, as our Father in Heaven sees and knows us, what kind of a difference would that make?