Represent....

On my computer at work, I have a quote:

You are called to represent the Savior. Your voice to testify becomes the same as His voice, your hands to lift the same as His hands. His work is to bless His Father's spirit children with the opportunity to choose eternal life. So, your calling is to bless lives. Your call has eternal consequences for others and for you. In the world to come, thousands may call your name blessed, even more than the people you serve here. They will be the ancestors and the decendants of those who chose eternal life because of something you said or did, or even what you were... You see, there are no small callings to represent the Lord.
---Henry B Eyring (who just happens to be my favorite)


So, today, instead of watching the clock tick ever so slowly on, I found myself reading through this quote. I read it often. But today, I kinda read it in opposite perspective. What about all those depending on my voice, my hands, my example.... when I choose NOT to speak, or choose NOT to help, or choose NOT to be a good example. In the world to come, thousands may call my name in disappointment, asking why I did nothing. They were counting on me and I chose wrong.

For a long time, my friend at Greenfield and Southern has been on my mind. I never knew his name but I would see him outside of Walgreen's or McDonalds frequently. If I was in the drive thru getting a breakfast burrito, I got two. He always said thanks, but I never took much time to talk to him (as I was always on my way to work or in a hurry) and now he is gone. I worried when I saw his things strewn about. I worried even more when I drove past and his things were completely gone. All I can think now is, What could I have done? Did I do what I was supposed to? Did I do enough? I thought maybe I should ask inside the local businesses to see if they knew where my friend went to... But part of me is afraid to ask. And then there is another part of me that thinks maybe just maybe if he is really gone, that is not a bad thing at all. But I am still afraid to ask... And there is still no sign of my friend.

For a long time and even still, I look at my time in Montana as a big waste or at least purely selfish. I feel like I gained a bunch ( not just weight, but life lessons) but I wasn't able to really feel successful in helping others... As I look at the list of baptisms and reactivations, none seemed to stay strong and quickly moved on to other philosophies. (Shoot even I kinda lost what I learned there for a while...) And while I felt such a strong prompting almost audible telling me, "You need to go now or it will be too late and then it wont really matter", there was and is no obvious reason for the specific time frame. I still dont know the reasons for all that happened in Montana. But it is another situation that I look back on and ask: What could I have done? Did I do what I was supposed to do? Did I do enough"

I guess this is a backwards call to action of sorts. For you and for me. I guess its time to really REPRESENT. But not just in name only. I have always been one that says that all the scripture reading, family night lessons, and prayers in the world are useless if you are not kind and look on your neighbors with a critical eye. In the end, love is the ultimate lesson. And love is a verb. And while, I highly doubt any would call my name blessed, I never want to be in the position to have people ask why I didn't speak, help or live my religion when I should have.