Sunday, June 7, 2009


Im having one of those "stuck" times. You know, those moments where you dont feel like you are active in your own life. You just float through the routine cause its easier than fixing stuff. I suppose thats not totally true. I had some major breakthrough moments these past few weeks and so I am here looking at the weight of what it all means and wondering, "What comes next?" I suppose you could say some long straggling loose ends were tied up...stuff that's been keeping me in the "stuck" times and now I dont quite know what to do with myself.

The other day I was talking with an old friend who has been through a lot since we were stupid kids in high school. (The most of it coming at her in the last couple years. ) And her reaction was, "I dont even know who I am anymore." She had lost a routine, a loved one and a way of life recently and replaced it all with new and different. At first, I thought it was strange. My reaction was to tell her not to try to put a label on stuff and realize we are all a work in progress, continually evolving. Funny how not 2 weeks later, I feel the same way. Not in a Who am I, where did I come from, where am I going sense. But in a "Who am I? Without all the labels and the daily activities that keep us so busy.... that don't really define who we are, even though we try to use them to describe us."

I dunno the more I think about it, the more I realize its kind of a stupid question to ask in the first place.... Too abstract to truly answer and too many variables to consider that effect the answer. Now my head hurts.

No comments: