Parenting for Dummies

So I, needing all the help I can get, have been on the hunt for some good parenting books specific to boys.
Mom found me a book called "So You Want to Raise a Boy" by Cleon Skousen. I found this humorous. And tried not to get my feelings hurt thinking my mom was commenting on my parenting skills or lack there of.
After some not so proud parenting moments in my short but full career.... I have decided that I too should write a parenting book. Mine will be a straightforward, honest look at the beauty of parenting. Here is my brainstorming for titles. These may also just end up being chapter titles.

1. So you want to beat your child.....

2. When your childs first name is Dammit

3. The flusher, the flooder, and the flatulent. Boys in bathrooms

4. Oh my gosh, is that poop? And other things you never thought you would be saying...

5. Watching for split pea soup... (aka: no, your child isn't possessed.)

6. Nobody told me your real name was Damien...

7. Sanity is not an option.

8. When all else fails, lock them up. (this one is dedicated to Amy...)

9. Gifted and obnoxious aren't the same thing. (a book for stage moms....)

10. Oh Shit, I am turning into my mother... (This is dead on perfect for me.... cause boy is it happening!)