To all the Twilight-er-pated

SPOILER ALERT: Before you read this, I just want to warn you that while I wont spoil the ending for you all, I may just spoil the whole Twilight concept for you. Read with caution. If you love Twilight, loved the story, loved the books, loved the movie you may want to stop reading.

To be fair, I really enjoyed reading the books. (Actually I only read the first 2. I will get to the others as soon as I find a few extra moments in my life.) I went and saw the move on Saturday and I really liked it. I liked its quirky style. I dug the way the director chose to do things. I even kinda dug Bella's Technicolor dream when she is gonna get bit by Edward in all its "softcore porn fantasy" feel, you know kinda Elvira mistress of the dark-ish meets the legendary Vincent Price - "House of Usher"- ish. I like to call it "gaudy goth".
So you ask, what could possibly be wrong to spoil all the fun?

I was talking to a coworker on Friday about my plans to see Twilight. It was a big deal cause I hadn't been to a movie since V for Vendetta. Well over 2 years. She hadn't even heard of Twilignt. So I started to give her the basic overview. You know... Blada blada blada vampire love story. Her response was not the usual "that sounded painfully embarissing for you to admit you actually would read that kinda book" sigh. It was, "Oh, so a typical forbidden love story. Bad guy, good girl. Danger." I was like, "Yeah, ok."

Well, Damn it, Tessa, it got me thinking way too hard about it. And all I could keep coming back to was:
"WHAT THE HELL ARE WE TEACHING ALL OF THESE LITTLE TEENAGE GIRLS"

Granted, my response comes from a lifetime of failed romances that began as, "if he could only see what I see when I look at him, he would realize how amazing he is and would accomplish amazing things". What keeps replaying in my head is that dumb mutual story about the indian and the snake. --You knew what I was when you picked me up-- But do you think all of my "project men", my "lost causes", my "my love can fix it" men were really snakes? Of course not. (Im oozing sarcasm right not... OOZING. I just dont want it to be too subtle.) They were different. Including the I just want to stomp all over the moral line of what I can and cant do guy that dismissed me the minute I decided I would rather go on a mission than give it up to him, the Montana find that teared up when we taught him the first discussion, but quickly forgot what he had learned when things got tough, and of course my drug addict baby daddy.
Before I get into too much trouble. I must say: I do not dismiss or deny what I saw in them. It was there and they were amazing but they didn't know it and they didn't really want to know it and that was the problem. From hard, hurtful, tearfilled lessons I have learned that some gambles, some dangers are just NOT worth the risk.

Maybe I spent one too many days in my Gender Differences Psych class and maybe it was a little to women's lib doctrine-ish. I know, I know, we laugh at those professors that condemn Disney for teaching little girls that they have to be saved by a prince. They are all quacks. But really guys. What are we reading and what are we teaching little girls about love? That it is more romantic when its dangerous? That its ok if he's the "bad guy" -- the books words not mine. That their love can save them? That its ok to change who you are so you can be like them so you can be together? That love should be so overpowering that you want give up everything to be with the man you love... your family, your friends, your whole life, literally?

Let me tell you from personal experience... That is not love, my friends. It is at times exciting and fun and there is nothing more heady than a new love with a "bad boy", but it turns into a nightmare very quickly. It is NOT LOVE. Its a form a mental abuse.

Now, once again. To be fair, I have not read the rest of the series and Im sure I will and Im sure I will enjoy it as much as I did the others. As of now, I do not know if Bella "changes" for Edward. But the overarching message, intentional or not, is dangerous to young, impressionable, twitterpated little girl hearts. And those are the target readers. Girls who haven't been faced with the consequences of a "my love can save him" attitude. And like I said earlier, some dangers are not worth the risk.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

So I dont know what is wrong with me, but I have been struggling lately to feel any sort of thankfulness. Before I get myself in trouble, let me preface this with a huge thankful for my family especially my mom for all the help and support with Reed and with my "imbalances" in general. But I seem to be in a glass half empty funk. I have been think about this for the past couple weeks, but part of me would just like to skip over this whole holiday routine and get on with 2009. Maybe part of this blog entry is to get myself actually thinking about all there is to be thankful for.

Every year my mom put up a giant paper tablet (kinda like the elementary school teachers used to have...) in the hallway and everyone gets to write down what they are thankful for. I have walked past it several times this year, looked at it and just shook my head. I know I have a million things to be thankful for, but I am just so frustrated with current circumstances that I have been walking around as cynical as ever... And we all know how shocking that must be.

Last year faced with all of the stresses of being a new single parent and all that goes with it, my Thanksgiving list was so very different than years past, much more detailed and kinda grown up, you could even call it "enlightened." Right around this time last year, I started having health problems that ended me up in the hospital in a fight for my life. It was a scary week or two (I dont really remember) as they used me as a human pin cushion, ran test after test and pumped someone elses blood into me. I was bruised and sliced up all over and had lost about 15 pounds, but when I was released Dec 5th, I was so glad to be going home. My world was a different place and all of the sudden my thanksgiving list was even longer than before. Although by then Thanksgiving had passed and we were deep in the throws of the Christmas routine.

So I guess my question is:

Why is it that last year when I was walking through what many would consider a hellish year, was I more thankful than ever and why is it that this year, which has been relatively calm (**Emphasis on relative) am I so lacking a thankful spirit? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Why is it when things are good or at least not bad, we want different? But when things are awful, everything around you becomes a blessing?

I guess the answer is humility or lack thereof. Now that I have written this, I realize how very telling it is about what it takes to make me/keep me humble. I have trouble keeping proper perspective when things are status quo. So maybe I will have to take a little more time and really work on a thankful list. Ill have to get back to yall.

Visit to Santa

Reed and I went down to the Bass Pro Shop to do some Christmas shopping and to see Santa. I was shocked to find out the pic was free and there was NO WAIT!!! That's right moms and dads NO WAIT for a pic with Santa at the Bass Pro Shop (on a Saturday no less). Reed was a little concerned as seen in the pic, that is until Santa pulled out a candy cane. Then he decided the guy was ok and snuggled in for a couple minutes. It was pretty funny. Reed loved looking at the Santa workshop with trains and all the stuffed animals (real animals...see the caribou behind Santa)
Reed also loved looking at the waterfall and all the fish in the giant aquarium. When we were in the elevator some kid got all excited (cause you can see the fish in there too) and said, 'This is just like SeaWorld but better" and I just thought to myself, yeah its free.

Glenn Beck's The Christmas Sweater

I just finished reading The Christmas Sweater. I bought it yesterday during my lunch. Im a big Glenn Beck fan and was excited to read it. I didn't know that I would finish it within 24 hours. I don't read much anymore. I don't have time. I still haven't finished the third book in the Twilight series yet. I know, I know.... It's impossible to imagine. But I did manage to finish The Christmas Sweater and it was definately worth my time. I sat here finishing it during some downtime at work and it took all I had not to start balling. So go out and get your copy. If you dont want to buy it, Ill lend you mine or I'll get you one, its worth the $15 at Walmart.

It our modern day Christmas Carol and has such a simple, straightforward but very striking way of putting all those things we already know, but that we just dont seem to get. It also mirrored a lot of the different things Ive been experiencing lately. And while Im kinda mad that Glenn beat me to the punch on this whole book genre, Im ok with it and I dont think it will diminish my take on things, I hope.

All Boy

I have come to the conclusion that I will never ever understand the mind of a boy. I think he has seen papa pushing the lawn mower around so he knows "it goes". That makes it a cool thing to play with. I still shake my head when I see this pic.

Why I wish I believed in spanking....

Its a cell phone pic so its not easy to see, but those are a million little goldfish all over my dirty floor. Notice the stacks of laundry that didn't get done this past weekend. This was a helluvah weekend. And this was Reed's grand finale Sunday evening. I guess he just needed a snack or something, or he thought I needed another migrane. (And for further laughs, see the black splotch in the corner? Those are my keys, that I couldn't find this morning. ) I am happy to report we survived without a reason for someone to call CPS on me.

PS. To whoever sent me the anonymous "home spa" surprise last week, thank you. It was so fun to come home to something special. I had a hard time not feeling like a charity case, but I really appreciate the thought and the goodies. And no worries, Im not totally hopeless. I just complain a lot.

More halloween

More halloween

Only in Arizona can you play in the hose, eat a popsicle and then go trick or treating all in the same day.

Halloween

Sorry its took me so long to put up some Halloween pics. I cant seem to download pics off a new memory card I just got. Thank you to Grandma Thompson for sending these on so you can all see how adorable Reed was. And of course thanks to Grandma Martin for designing and making this amazing costume.

The election

I recieved this email from a member of this chaplain's congregation. I thought it was worth sharing. After much political discussion with friends, I have realized the need for all Christians to band together and stand up for what we believe. Im happy to say that AZ, FL and shockingly CA passed the propositions to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. This is what we can accomplish when we work together instead of trying to fight evil as solitary sects.

More and more I am realizing that we cant do nothing. I hope that Obama is able to come to a middle ground as he serves his term (singular I hope) as president. If not, we need to be ready to stand up and make our voices heard and remind him and our other leaders that they are there to serve us and not their own agenda.

_____________________________________________________________________

I'm so grateful, with 92% reporting, that it looks like Prop 8 passed in Ca. This too is a testimony of what can happen when conservatives and churches mobilize--because it was largely their intentional across-the-board movements that made this happen. Still, amazing how close the battle...check out these numbers... http://vote.sos.ca.gov/Returns/props/map190000000008.htm

Though obviously a letdown to us that Obama was elected, America has dabbled with pushing the envelope to the left and will now experience exactly what happens when the “full force of the far left” are unleashed and their floodgates opened. Personally, I don’t believe last night’s election results reflect God’s appointment, but a reaping of what we’ve sewn as a nation and of course a representative desire of those things the majority want (though not necessarily what is best for the country). While no one is overlooking the historical magnitude of a black man being elected president (an action established long ago by our Founders in the equality clauses of the Declaration of Independence), our focus and fight here has always been upon what his positions, practices, and policies will produce (repeatedly addressed in the Norris syndicated column-- http://townhall.com/Columnists/ChuckNorris). I believe Dr. Dobson spoke quite prophetically in a “fictional letter” when he wrote recently of what a 2012 Obama America would yield... http://freedomthirst.com/documents/10-22-08_2012letter.pdf

In an Obama nation, my personal prayer now (already this morning) is threefold: (1) that people would never forget our real hope (audacious or otherwise) is in God not government; (2) that churches would at last reawaken and realize, as Edmund Burke said that evil really does flourish when good men do nothing, and that politics are equally an area in which we are called to be light and salt (just as any mission field of darkness), and, though severely corrupt in areas, is not “dirty” arenas that we are to avoid; (3) that Christians and churches would place more focus to encourage and reconnect ourselves and others to our Founders’ America, in which the church served as the moral agent and conscience of the nation. As I told the Norrises here, in an Obama America, the content in Black Belt Patriotism is needed all the more as a resource and guide, because, at its heart and goal, are these three things. There will be no reawakening of America without God’s church—revival can’t happen independent of Her. And the good news is that the darker society (government) gets, the more obvious (brighter) the church will become—if she accepts her responsibility as salt/light and quits turning away from civic service as the “dirty stepchild” of ministry. The Norrises (and I, I suppose) will be spending lots of time, in a concentrated way over the Christmas season starting in a couple weeks, with an intentional focus on Christian media and God’s Church addressing those very facts and needs, accompany the wide Christian distribution of his book across the country in Christian bookstores and on the web (www.cbd.com)
Got hope? Don’t look to men. Psalm 31:24: “Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the LORD.”
Still fighting for God and country,
Chaplain Todd

Only in dreams

So Ive been mulling over all kinds of info these days. I think my brain is completely fried. But something has been really knawing at me for a long time. (I just wish I could peg what exactly it is.)

A few nights ago I woke up from having the strangest dream. I was just arriving back in Montana. For some reason, I had returned to continue or to start another mission. I remember thinking, this is not the way it was when I came here last time. Meaning, the red tape process... I just arrived and went to it, no training, just meeting up with a companion somewhere Funny that the companion in my dream is my boss in real life (I haven't quite figured out what she is representing -- her characteristics and all) As I haven't quite pegged that part yet, it really isn't important in my story.

Anyway, I remember meeting up with Jenn and saying, "I know where we need to stop first and mentioned a family from my greenie area, the ward mission leaders house. ---This is where I feel really bad because I cant remember their names, but I loved that family. Oh Whitfield I think, maybe--- As we started toward their house, I hesitated. I remember thinking, wait a minute. I can't do this. What will Reed do? I can't be gone from Reed for so long. I was so excited to be back in Montana and was really happy to see the family again (as they were so good to me) and I was really excited to have the structure of the mission, but everytime I would start to go toward their house I would sick up. Reed would freak out. How could I even consider leaving him?

When I first woke up, my reaction was, "That is so wierd" but the more I thought about it, the more I saw what was so plainly laid out. Now those of you who know me know I am a big believer in dreams. I think I got it from my love for psychology. Now, I know I am not a dreamer in a spiritual sense. I guess the Lord knows I need more of the 2 by 4 approach. But I know that there was a definate message for me.

I have never made it a secret that the whole Shane thing has forever changed me. And it/he has been on my mind a lot lately. (Too much, according to some that follow the blog) And I suppose it is true. But I think this dream was letting me know was that it was time to stop looking back on the joys, hurts and what ifs of the past and start living in the now and looking toward the future.
Now mind you I thought I had reached that point a while back, but its funny how a little reminiscing turns to big what ifs, if you let yourself get carried away.

My mom and I have had some pretty interesting conversations throughout the last few years along these lines (usually as those old hurts I thought were long gone reappeared.) I remember her saying that we all have crossroads in our life that we look back to with a little pause. We all have few different paths we would have liked to take and that we can look back on and say, "I wonder" or "I wish I could just see what that would have been like" She said she thinks we all have another "life" or two we all would have liked to live. But that we only have one path.

The other day she was online and when I walked up to her she said she wanted to show me something. She googled some guys name and up popped the most amazing photography. Black and white, nature prints, very similar to -- but I think even more striking-- than Ansel Adams. She told me that this was the work of one of her old boyfriends. Then she went back to the search and just reading the list of results showed that he was a very successful, award winning photographer very well respected by his peers. She then said that she had also downloaded some music that he had composed. I asked her how she had found him and she was embarrissed to admit that it had just come to her one day to google him. (Maybe it was the most recent school reunion, who knows)

But I think, and I dont know how she knew all this was building up the past little while, but I have learned to not question my moms ESP, but maybe she knew I needed to know that we have all been there. Looking back, almost frozen in time as we look around at our current circumstances saying, What have I done? What could I have done? How did I get here? Her little "Ive been there" was a big nudge forward. A reminder that the reverie is alright, but not to let it consume you into thinking you have chosen the wrong "life" and in turn keep you from living life. And to remember that those memories are somehow a little sweeter in hindsight. The what ifs don't contain the realities of life. They are seen through rose colored glasses. Faults are smaller, faces are handsomer, and life is perfect. No challenges, no flaws, no trouble... And no growth.

So it came to me that as long as I was continally drawn back to the past, I was not moving forward. It was more like that part in Alice in Wonderland where everyone is chasing each other around and around in circles. AND GETTING NOWHERE.

I dunno how to sum this all up. Like I said, this has been floating around in my brain in some form or another for a long long time. So if you actually read this all the way through, Im kinda surprised. If you actually followed my train of thought, Im shocked. But I think I have some old pictures and letters to burn.

BLAUGH....

This day will not end. I swear I have been at work for so long I cant see straight. What is it that makes some days fly by and some last forever? And why is it always the ones that last forever that you wish would end and the ones that fly by you wish would last forever?
Wow, if that wan't a murphy's law, I dunno what is.

And now I figure I will kill time by writing, but I really don't have anything to say. Well, I always have something to say... But I dont want to get started on politics again. It makes me queasy to even think about it. And not much to say about Reed. He is doing good. Been cranky lately and running a fever. I didn't think to much of it until he had his 15 month check up and realized he has an ear infection. So at least we found the reason for his grouch fest.

Im still fighting the Gall Bladder Blues... Well post op blues. My weight is out of control and for all the searching for answers all I have found are big forums filled with people just as frusterated as I am. I have yet to find anyone with answers, unless they are trying to sell something. (Isn't that how it always is?

Oh well, enough of my grouch fest for now...

4 FUN

A) Four places that I go to over and over:
WORK (BLAGH), Walmart, Bashas, Margie's house
B) Four people who e-mail me (regularly):
Linda, Millie, Mom, Kirk
C) Four of my favorite places to eat:
Texas Roadhouse, Panda Express, Moki's, mom's house
D) Four other places I would rather be right now:
In bed--asleep, on vacation anywhere, Montana, anywhere but at work
E) Four people I intend to tag:
Stu, Jeanne, Emily, Trina
F) Four TV shows I watch:
Lost, The Office, Glenn Beck, Fox N Friends

Okay ladies, now its your turn. Its easy, just 4, 4, 4, 4, 4,4 things about you. Have fun.

Midnight snack

Honestly, this kid is into everything. I just installed the cupboard latches in the kitchen and he has already figured out how to open them. If it closes...he knows how to open it, if it has a button... he know what it does and pushes it at appropriate times (IE: water cooler, TV remote, DVD remote -yes he knows the difference- he even aims the AC remote at the unit to turn it on and off) He's crazy smart and Im just plain crazy from trying to keep him out of stuff.

Dennis the Menace

I absolutely love this pic of Reed. I dunno if its the face or that his little overalls and striped shirt make him look like Dennis the Menace... But I love it. Yesterday someone at church commented that he looks like he lost all the baby in him overnight and all the sudden he is all little boy.

Racecar Reed

We had a girl party to the mall last week and poor Reed hated every minute of it, until we found the race car. He was in little boy heaven and it was almost impossible to get him out of it... Until I put quarters in to make it go. It scared him to death and even with me holding on to him to steady him, he still wanted out. That is he wanted out until the ride ended and then it was back to impossible to get him to want to leave.

Breaking points

I dont really have much to say today, but as I read all my other pals blogs, I start to see a trend. Many have expressed that they have hit their breaking point. Im there. I went from being excited because today is my Friday (I now work 4 tens) and planning a "field trip" to the park with Reed and his dad to hitting a wall of exhaustion, frustration and almost tears as I got a call from my mom saying Reed was running a 102 temperature and has been lethargic all day. (He had the barfs last weekend, but I thought we were over it. )

I know that isn't a huge deal, but it seems with everything else piled on, I too am hitting my breaking point.

Add to this, a little too much election coverage, a little too much "history" in the form of some articles explaining that the steps leading up to the Nazi party in Germany very much mirror the circumstances our country is facing and the hard reality that my personal financial circumstances (which were difficult before) may become monsterous as the economy falls apart. And I cant find a logical solution. I can see the stress in my fathers eyes as he wonders "Am I always going to have to supplement Emily in raising Reed? I don't have that many more Pepsi years left in this old body...." He never says anything to me, but I can see it in his eyes. He doesn't joke about me supporting him retirement years anymore.

On the flip side, I just finished a Glenn Beck article where he talked about what we should do now. I laughed as he took basic gospel teachings (things we have been hearing for years) like planting a garden, living within our means, family night, and getting an education and presented them in a "non threatening" secular way. I love Glenn. He has been to hell and back and can sing the song of redemption. He understands the atonement. But in his article, he reminded me that in times where we hit the breaking point, those of us who are wise, return to the basics, return to what we know and are sufficiently humbled to return to our God for a renewal of strength.

After reading about Christal's nightly scriptures and prayers with her little family, I realized that I needed to be doing that with Reed. So every night we get on the "big bed" and I hand him his night time book to hold while I read a chapter from the Book of Mormon out loud. Then we have our prayers and get to read the Goodnight book Grandma and Papa Thompson gave him for his birthday. Anyway, last night we were reading about Sariah who was complaining that her boys must have died in the wilderness when they went back for the plates and didn't understand why her husband had to be a visionary man. It made me laugh. Poor Sariah. She must have been a pillar to have even made it that far....

Anyway, they finally returned and she realized her error in murmuring against God and her husbands obedience. She remembered what she had known all along... That God would provide a way to keep his commandments. She just needed to have the faith and the patience to see herself through to the end of the story (or that chapter of her story.... another one always seems to start after one ends :)

I guess what I am saying, as I am weary and I am tired and anxious about the future (and as I know so many others are...) We just need to go back to basics and take everything a step at a time. Follow the prophets, trust the Lord, and be patient. (Oh thats the hardest part for me, the hardest part....) Turn to what you know, return to the basics and remember that the Lord has an eye out for us all... Nope scratch that, the Lord has His hand stretched out TO US ALL.

Retraction...or clarification

Once again, this dumb blog has gotten me into trouble. So I must clarify for all those concerned about my frame of mind. (This is where I sigh and roll my eyes.) Previously I wrote that I wanted things for me to fall into place, like it does for Nan. I implied that I would like my love life to pan out as simply as her job situation. Very tongue-in-cheek, I included "a date, a quick engagement...." or something along those lines. AND caught Holy Hell for it. So let me explain. When I write a big ....LOL after I write something, it means I am kidding. I will elaborate so there is no confusion.

I would love for something of the sort to fall into place. It wont. I know it wont, so I can laugh about it. Even if I felt like I was in a stable enough place to want to really seriously start dating again (which Im not....I dont trust my taste in men.) But even if I was ready to start seriously dating again, the mother instinct would most likely get the better of me and I would find every flaw in the poor guys, because I want to protect Reed. And if I was able to find someone, I would still make sure that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was right. (Because I want to protect Reed) So for anyone questioning my judgement when I say i want a quick engagement.... Get over it. I was being silly. (thus the LOL) Im not looking to jump into something without weighing every little detail. (I have seen the consequences of others folly and lived my own... Thank you very much) I just realize its time to get back out there.

Back forever ago, when seriously considering marrying Shane, he straight forward asked me if I could be a mother to his sons. Of course, I quickly replied. This bothered him and he went on. We talked about having more kids and I said I wanted five boys. He said, we already have two and I said, no I want to have 5 of my own. He went ballistic. He wanted me to understand that if we were to get married (which we didn't-- not for this reason, others....) But if we were to get married, his boys would be my boys and there would be no distinction between families, no "stepmom" title, they would be mine. When I realized how serious he was about it and when I realized what he was really asking me, I began to really ponder whether I could do it or not. I took it very seriously and spent a long time delving inside myself to really know if I could be that kind of mom. Later, when I met his boys (after everything had fallen apart and they would not be mine) it broke my heart. Because they had become mine, in my heart, I had decided that I was going to be their mother and I mourned for the loss of MY BOYS, because I had spent so much time and energy coming to the conclusion that they would be mine. The short couple hours I got to spend with them is still precious to me and I can still remember everything that happened. How we played, what was said and the look on Tommy's face as he sat on the porch watching us drive away. I tear up just writing about it now. I swear I mourned that loss far greater than I did the loss of Shane in my life. (Maybe because by that time I had already mourned Shane, the boys just reopened old wounds....)

But my mourning is not the point. The point is, I learned a very important lesson, and now I can look back and see a reason behind the pain of the experience. I now truly understand what Shane was asking, I know why he was so serious about it. I know why he reacted the way he did. Because I have Reed. My decisions have consequences far beyond myself, my happiness. My son is included in it. And now as I begin to entertain the possibility of loving again, (as impossible as it seems, I am entertaining the idea) my thoughts trail back to that question Shane asked me and that question that will be on the forefront of my mind if I ever find someone to love again. Will he love Reed as if he was his own son? No, thats not even right. How do you put it with out an "AS IF". Its more will you be dad to Reed. No distinction, no step, just dad. Its a tough question, and a lot to ask. But its vital. I have seen step parents that have embraced this idea and I have seen step parents that make the distinction (my stepchild). It makes a huge difference.

So I guess what I am trying to say is: Any reentry into the dating scene will be cautious and with much thought and guidance by the spirit. No haphazard relationships, no quick engagements, no unprayerful decisions. But I am at a point that I need to get back out there. Like it or not.

Just another day....

No big news from the homefront. Im done training in Ahwatukee and will now be able to go back to work next week in Mesa. (It really wasn't such a horrible thing, cause I was training Nan who just got hired on. Its just a far drive and I was having to work Ahwatukee in the mornings and East Mesa in the evenings...LONG DAYS )Anyway, I was training Nan. I swear that girl is charmed. I went to work in Ahwatukee 2 weeks ago to train the new hire... Who never showed up, just left a phone message saying nevermind. At that same time, Nan was getting word that they had to downsize where she worked and she would be the one let go. She came home crying to my dad that night. And he just told her not to worry it would all work out. So by Tuesday, Nan had been interviewed, hired and allowed to start training the next day. Meanwhile, the economy was falling apart all around and I heard story after story of people that have been looking for jobs for months. She is charmed....or a favorite or something. But that really wasn't what I was going to talk about, it just interesting to see the timing of everything. Now if I could just get everything to fall into place for me. A date maybe, quick engagement.... LOL.

YOU MUST SEE THIS GUYS

Maybe Ive been watching too much Glenn Beck. But I am furious about all this bailout garbage. Now that being said, YOU MUST WATCH THIS UTUBE VIDEO.

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheMouthPeace?ob=1

This just solidifies my vote. Obama is scary. Socialist Scary. A BIG OLD LIAR. I cant scream it loud enough.

How many "unfortunate" aquaintences can one person have? Rev. Wright that hates the US and preaches against the "whities"?, the crazy bomber guy that terrorizes the US, ACORN?, or those people that want to break off anything south of the mason dixon and become their own country.... It never stops. I cannot stomach to look at the man anymore.

And after watching the video you see all his connections to Fannie and Freddie and how he and the other democrats rode the company down and collected millions for it. EVEN PRESIDENT CLINTON SPOKE OUT AGAINST THEM!!! President,"I didn't have sexual relations with that woman" Clinton tried to warn them.

Right now, Hillary is looking like a damn good alternative. At least with the Clinton's we know what to expect. I could handle another 4 even 8 years of the Clintons--- if the country must have a Democrat (because, you know, its the Republicans fault the economy is falling apart. Not useless Pelosi, not Barney Frank --who should be incarcerated in my opinion) But if we must have a Democrat... why the HELL does it have to be Obama!!! Its a nightmare!!!!

So watch it, try not to throw up. I want to I get so angry when I watch it. The gaul the Dems had when they acted all insulted that the government would even waste their time investigating inconsistancies in Fannie's and Freddie's books. How they swore there was nothing wrong. That we were trying to fix something that wasn't broken. Well guess what... They are all a bunch of LIARS and once again.... Omaba is all over in the scandal. How anyone could ever want to vote for him is insanity.

Now Im not a huge fan of McCain. Im not convinced I can even call myself a Republican. But honestly... OBAMA is not the solution, he is not the change we need. He is a nightmare and will strip and tax away everything this country stood for. EVERYTHING!!!

PS Hey all you gov officials, nice to see how the bailout worked out so well for us all, I didn't think my 401K could be any more useless than it already was, then I saw the DOW drop even more yesterday. Glad you all came in and spent my 700 billion and saved us.

motherhood

this is why I love being a mother. Cause moments like this are picture worthy and make you smile.

Mommy and Reed

We spend much of our life on this bed... Too much time really, but this is where we have cuddle time after a long day of work and such.

Reed Tag

Name: Reed Oren Thompson

Age: 14 months

Nicknames: Reedo, Reeder, Reedo Bandito, Reeder BaDeeder, Reeder Roo, Lil Man, Pooper, Lil Poop, Bug, Boo-ger, etc, etc

Favorite activities: Playing in the hose, going to the park, getting into trouble (playing in the toilet, playing with the water cooler, etc)

Favorite Foods: Applesauce, bananas. Sometimes spaghetti. He is a super picky eater

Favorite music: We sing Old McDonald a lot. He also loves to dance when the Sponge Bob theme song comes on. (not something Im proud of)

Favorite toys: Balls, cars, and anything he shouldn't be playing with

Favorite book: Picture books with peek a boo flaps.

Favorite item of clothing: Are you kidding me? Im lucky to get clothes on him at all.

What makes him happy: Pulling the cats tail, poofing someone elses tummy, going for walks, spending time with Papa, Sponge Bob. (again, not proud)

What makes him sad: Getting told "no". Having to get into his carseat.

I tag whoever wants to show off their little kiddo...

ATTN: Montana Billings Mission Sisters UPDATE

For anyone who is interested..... I wont be there but hope ya'll have a good time.

Montana Sister's Reunion
Who: Everyone!
What: Potluck dinner
When: Sat. October 4, 2008 at 5pm
Where: 857 E. Brookshire Dr. Kaysville Utah {84037} -mapquest it or you can email me for directions
Why: Because we want to see each other! Bring something to throw on the grill and something to share. We will meet at 5 and then any men that might come along can go to the Stake Center and watch conference while we chat. Bring your old photo albums! Hope to see you there.. or here I guess :)
TELL EVERYONE!!

Have you ever.....

The rules:Just copy and paste the 200 statements then bold the ones you have done!!Hope you enjoy it!! (and make sure you use a lot of exclamation points, it makes everything more fun)The idea is to highlight the things you have done out of the 200 items on the list.The things I have done are in bold print!
1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby's diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said "I love you" and meant it!
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (NO, but saw an amazing one at Black River)
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Taken an ice cold bath
28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Ridden a roller coaster
31. Hit a home run
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking!!
33. Adopted an accent for fun
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a momen
t36. Loved your job 90% of the time (massage not my other jobs)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing (indoor)
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach
41. Gone sky diving
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume
49. Sung karaoke
50. Lounged around in bed all day
51. Gone scuba diving
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Done something you should regret, but don't
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Been in a movie
60. Gone without food for 3 days
61. Made cookies from scratch
62. Won first prize in a costume contest
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language fluently
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone - verbal not physical
67. Bounced a check
68. Read - and understood - your credit report
69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
74. Helped an animal give birth
75. Been fired or laid off from a job (laid off)
76. Won money
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read The Bible cover to cover
86. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions
88. Gone back to school
89. Changed your name
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands
91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
97. Been elected to public office
98. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
101. Had a booth at a street fair
102. Dyed your hair
103. Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep
105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all four
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people .
108. Brought out the worst in people (I think there may be a few...)
109. Worn a mood ring
110. Ridden a horse
111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap (girl's camp!)
112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe.
113. Buried a child
114. Gone to a Broadway (or equivalent ) play --Gammage not Broadway
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket
117. Danced at a disco
118. Played in a band --Not a rock bank.. HS drumine...
119. Shot a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum
121. Tutored someone
122. Ridden a train
123. Brought an old fad back into style
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt
129. Lived in an historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
131. Asked for a raise
132. Made a hole-in-one GOOFY GOLF
133. Gone deep sea fishing
134. Gone roller skating
135. Run a marathon
136. Learned to surf
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class
139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sang a solo
143. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love-story (ya, weren't we all teenagers?)
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait painted
148. Written a fan letter
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane
151. Ran away
152. Learned to juggle
153. Been a boss
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight
156. Gone on a diet
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem
159. Carried your lunch in a lunch box
160. Gotten food poisoning
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Hiked the Grand Canyon
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
164. Gone to the opera -- Not yet, but on my list of things to do
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous
166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator
172. Had a revelatory dream
173. Thought you might crash in an airplane
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
175. Saved someone’s life
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
178. Laughed till your side hurt
179. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival
182. Sent a message in a bottle
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union
187. Donated blood or plasma
188. Built a camp fire
189. Kept a blog
190. Had hives
191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube
196. Know CPR
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible
198. Found a long lost friend
199. Helped solve a crime
200. Responded to a NJP newsletter

Bush Bashing??

So the more I read the more infuriated I have become with the media in general. So here is my take on politics. Poor President Bush has become the "whipping boy" for every problem going on in our current society. So just a little ammo for the poor guy... Check this out. The big housing crisis was not created on his watch, it the mess from decisions from as far back as 1992. (Clinton's term) See below courtesy of my buddy Glenn Beck:

"It’s one of the hidden success stories of the Clinton era. In the great housing boom of the 1990s, black and Latino homeownership has surged to the highest level ever recorded. The number of African Americans owning their own home is now increasing nearly three times as fast as the number of whites; the number of Latino homeowners is growing nearly five times as fast as that of whites.In 1992, [a majority Democratic] Congress mandated that Fannie and Freddie increase their purchases of mortgages for low-income and medium-income borrowers. Operating under that requirement, Fannie Mae, in particular, has been aggressive and creative in stimulating minority gains. It has aimed extensive advertising campaigns at minorities that explain how to buy a home and opened three dozen local offices to encourage lenders to serve these markets. Most importantly, Fannie Mae has agreed to buy more loans with very low down payments–or with mortgage payments that represent an unusually high percentage of a buyer’s income.

That’s made banks willing to lend to lower-income families they once might have rejected.The top priority may be to ask more of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. The two companies are now required to devote 42% of their portfolios to loans for low- and moderate-income borrowers; HUD, which has the authority to set the targets, is poised to propose an increase this summer.

Although Fannie Mae actually has exceeded its target since 1994, it is resisting any hike. It argues that a higher target would only produce more loan defaults by pressuring banks to accept unsafe borrowers. "

So Mr. Pesident. You have gained a few points in my eyes. And I am sorry that you have become the most hated President in history at least in part because we live in a society that does not believe in personal responsibility

Til divorce do us part....

So today was my child support hearing. It went well, by the way. (Minus getting duped out of about 8 months of back child support because of my stupid document prep guy.) But other than that Im just happy to have everything settled. Because my case would take the longest, I got to wait through all of the other cases ahead of me. It was the saddest thing I have ever witnessed.
See, most of the cases were divorce hearings. For the most part it consisited of the wives coming in alone, saying,
-- No, the free state provided counseling wont fix it,
-- No, I dont want spousal support,
-- No, there are no children involved,
-- Yes, I want to change back to my maiden name,
-- Yes, I have what I want in my posession and he has what he wants
And in a matter of minutes, POOF, the marriage was over. Some of the women seemed relieved, others seemed to be hit with the reality of the judge concluding the case and declaring them legally single status again.

It took minutes, guys, a couple questions, and literally MINUTES.

It was so strange to watch. You could almost picture them in their designer, overpriced wedding dresses, glowing as the best man toasted the happy couple. You could probably assume they were still paying off credit card debt racked up by wedding expenses. I wanted to yell... Hey, what was it that made you want to get married in the first place? Did you ever think it would end in this? A default case where your husband doesn't even show up to end the marriage? Lucky he was even present to start it off.... Maybe that was the problem, he was never really present for the marriage in the first place.....

I'm trying not to let this experience have a negative effect on me. (I've become quite the cynic when it come to love.... I know, not me, but believe me... its there... its subtle... LOL)

I guess I haven't quite digested it all. And I dont quite know what effect it had on me, but it really struck me as being one of the saddest things I have witnessed. EVER.

Superman Lyrics.

So I posted a while back about the Superman song by Five for Fighting. Thought I would post the lyrics for anyone that wondered what in the world i was talking about.

I can't stand to fly I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find The better part of me
I'm more than a bird... I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
And it's not easy to be me
I wish that I could cry Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd... but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed... but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it's not easy to be me
Up, up and away... away from me Well it's all right... you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy... or anything...
I can't stand to flyI'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me Inside of me Yeah, inside of me Inside of me I'm only a man In a funny red sheet I'm only a manLooking for a dream I'm only a manIn a funny red sheet
And it's not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm... It's not easy to be me

ATTN MBM Sisters!!!!

Hey girlies, Just in case you haven't found Mangum's blog yet, or should I say Tiffany, I figured I would pass this info on. Some of the Sisters are trying to put together a sisters reunion Conference weekend. If you are interested in details, click on the Team Thomson link on my blog list. Let her know you are interested. I know its probably close to impossible for me to figure out a way up there and with my current circumstances I dont know how appropriate it would be, but I wanted to pass on the info for anyone that was interested. Once I get more details I will pass it on and maybe Ill see you up there.

Just as requested... For you James

I must preface this blog entry. For all those faint of heart, those who don't want dirty laundry and those who feel I need to be more discriminating about my subjects this is not an entry you want to read.

James, called me wondering why I hadn't updated everyone with the current circumstances. When I told him I had, I just gave an overarching "life is stressful" statement, he didn't see that it was the same thing and again questioned why I hadn't written about him. So here is the James update, Just for you buddy!!

James has relapsed. I, by what could only be divine inspiration asked for another drug test, which he refused, again. (2 in the last how many months... 4) So that's twice now he has been caught using. (Yes the last time I lied, after all the hullaballo about me airing dirty laundry and such, I actually lied for him....)

I told him his chances to change are over and now I will do all I can to protect Reed from him and his addictions. I begged him to sign his rights away. His response was of course no.... although he hardly uses his parenting time, has never paid a dime of child support and is only a risk to both Reed and I.

Since then he has called the courts to find out when the child support case is. See, he didn't want to pay the filing fee so its a default case, and he just signed that he agreed with the terms of the parenting plan and child support amount. I was the only one supposed to go before the judge. But now that the agreement isn't good for him (Under the agreement if he has a positive drug screen or refuses to take one then it is up to my discretion when and if he can see Reed) he wants to go plead with the judge to change it.

Funny how it always has to be about him, not whats best for Reed. So everyone... applaud with me for the Father of the Year. Congrats on your accomplishments. Its your day!!

PS. Is this what you had in mind, James?