Music Appreciation Day

Im a Parrothead. Granted, Jimmy entered my life as I began my descent into the fog. And unfortunately there are some not so proud moments that he provided the sountrack for. But Jimmy still holds a sweet place in my heart. Maybe cause he was singing about what I was so desperately looking for. Calm. Peace. Silly diversions. An escape from the real world. I think thats why there are so many die hard Parrotheads. Jimmy provides a mini vaca, a beach in your brain(without crowds or Cali smog)....a deep breath and perspective.

Since it is my Friday, I am feeling a big pull to shake of the remains of the work week and find this feeling. (Ive been searching all week....and failing miserably.) And while this sensation may be found much quicker with one of the margarita's made famous by another Jimmy song..... This will be sufficient. If you turn up the volume on your computer you will find my playlist. Topping the chart (as soon as I get home today, since I cant get on that website at work) is my favorite Jimmy Buffett song, ever. And that's saying something... cause Jimmy's Asshole Song, is killer funny.

All I gotta do is turn this song on and it transports me to another world. Overall its playful and upbeat, but the chorus brings you to a dreamy almost reminiscence of that One Particular Harbor -- though you have never been there...you have.

But there's one particular harbor
Sheltered from the wind
Where the children play on the shore each day
And all are safe within.

Most mysterious calling harbor
Sor far yet so near
I can see the day when my hair's full gray
And I finally disappear.

This is probably the most vivid of daydreams for me. Everytime I hear this song, I am instantly there. I swear my blood pressure drops, my neck and back muscles start to release their deathgrip flexion, and my breathing slows and deepens. So when things get crazy, come join me in my One Particular Harbor. AND ENJOY!

Desperado

HAHA I wrote the other entry too soon. My musical day has come full circle. I will have to stop listening now cause Desperado, (The Clint Black version) came on. ENOUGH already. No more of those memories.
So I will just pretend it was the Don Henley version as it has much happier memories connected to it. A few years back, Margie and I just happened to be on the recieving end of some Eagles tickets. It was fabulous! And of course they saved Desperado for the very last song of the concert about 10 encores into it. The funny part was, from the first encore, this stupid kid kept yelling, 'Play Desperado' over and over again, like they could hear him and like they were going to NOT play it and like they didn't have a play list, even for the encores. Needless to say, we laugh frequently when one randomly yells out "play Desperado!"

Gone Country

So I have been at work exactly one hour and 40 minutes. Today, Justin the PT here in Gilbert, decided it was country day. I haven't listened to country in years. For a very good reason. Country was the soundtrack for my life just after my mission. A wonderful, carefree, all the world is beautiful time in my life. I was in LOVE. I know, I know, all this unfiltered bliss? No sarcasm, no cynicism, no complaints? Thats not the Emily we know!!! Well it didn't last and I turned the station after it all disappeared. And hadn't listened since. Til today. I kid you not, every song that could drudge up my memories of that time in my life has played. In the last one hour and now 45 minutes. Of course, there is no escaping Tim McGraw when listening to country, Im not dilusional. But come on.... Nitty Gritty Dirt Band??? Fishing in the dark? Darrell Worley...I miss my friend. DAMMIT. Pray I survive today without falling over crying or doing something really stalkerishly stupid.

And just for the record, Im not a cynic. Im a Disappointed Idealist. There is a huge-o difference.

Superman Lyrics.

So I posted a while back about the Superman song by Five for Fighting. Thought I would post the lyrics for anyone that wondered what in the world i was talking about.

I can't stand to fly I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find The better part of me
I'm more than a bird... I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
And it's not easy to be me
I wish that I could cry Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd... but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed... but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it's not easy to be me
Up, up and away... away from me Well it's all right... you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy... or anything...
I can't stand to flyI'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me Inside of me Yeah, inside of me Inside of me I'm only a man In a funny red sheet I'm only a manLooking for a dream I'm only a manIn a funny red sheet
And it's not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm... It's not easy to be me

Superman

So Im driving home from work yesterday and the Five for Fighting "Superman" song came on. This song first came out while I was in Montana. I remember driving home at the end of a hard day, and listening to Delilah. I know, I know, missionaries arent allowed to listen to the radio. But it was Delilah and we tried to justify it as being uplifting. But I digress....
Anyway, I remember when I first heard the Superman song. I just cried and cried. I could so relate. Trying to be perfect and just struggling. At the time, I thought it was a new Dave Matthews Band song, as they have a very similar sound. And being a huge Dave fan, it made it that much more memorable.
Sorry I keep getting sidetracked. Anyway the song came on yesterday on my way from work. Now my life is so far from that point 7 years ago. (has it really been that long...man) But the song still hits me much the same as it did now. So for all of you who are like, I dont get what is so special about that song, I will elaborate. If you have never heard it, go download it.

I think its all about persona. We all walk around with this false self. Or this self that we want people to think we are. We all do it. Im just as guilty as the next guy. Anyway, once we have built this persona or this "public image" we spend the rest of our days trying to keep up with the expectation the precedence has set. And its damn tiring. So the song is saying I may be Superman, but damn it, give me some room for error and imperfection. I spend a lot of my days lately with my flaws staring me down almost to defeat. So I think a lot of the persona I crafted so early on in my 20s has since crumpled... But damned if I dont keep trying to rebuild. Why am I trying to rebuilt that?

I remember back in my college days, I was fascinated with Psychology. I loved my Psyc classes. I need to go back. But anyway, I remember in my Personality Development class we talked about our True Self, our Ideal Self and our perspective of our Self. There was this diagram of Circles representing each. And the more they overlapped, the healthier (mentally) the person was. I suppose you could throw a circle in there for our "persona self" but the more I think about it our Ideal self is usually the persona we put on anyway.

Anyway, there will always be some discrepancy between the Selves. That is life. And while it is healthy to have the differences as small as possible, it is also good to recognize that there are discrepancies and that and really that is good. Confused? Sorry. The discrepancies are healthy as long as you use them as a catalist for change. See the differences cause stress which if used properly becomes a push to improve and become more like the ideal self.

This blog turned into so much more than I was planning. Anyway I guess my point was:

Life is tough. Be nice to others when they dont live up to the persona. Be nice to yourself when you dont live up to your persona. And just keep chuggin along and slowly your circles will get closer and closer.